What is self-care for pain?

 

I made a commitment to practice self-care for 1 year and it changed my world. I never really understood what that term ‘self-care’ meant but it seemed to keep coming up as an important part of managing a healthy life.

The idea for a commitment to self-care started late 2020, at the time I was working for a health promotion initiative. As part of my work, we were providing pain education in the hope that this would lead people in pain to make healthier choices. I had a sense that there was something missing; how could the solution be so simple when the problem is so complex? I recognised a need for greater integrity in my life, and it became clear that I could not ask anyone to do something that I hadn’t done myself, and in turn didn’t want advice from someone who hadn’t done it themselves. If I was going to share health information and expect people to change their behaviour as a result, then I needed to be living this. At the time, the opposite was true, I had all the information at my fingertips, I was struggling with my pain and living out the same old behaviours.

It wasn’t simple…

What I thought would be a simple exploration of self-care turned into a complete overhaul of my life. This was the second time that I have completely re-evaluated my life and, on both occasions, it was ill health that convinced me of the need. My pain has been my greatest teacher in life, I have learned so much about myself and for this I am deeply grateful. The first overhaul happened in my mid-20s and the changes were mostly external, I changed careers, left the city, left my long-term partner, and moved to the wilderness. This recent time (more than 10 years later) has been much more about internal changes, largely my relationship with myself, although this also meant I needed to let go of external things.

Learning from living:

After 1 year, I have learned that self-care is not one thing or a set process. I have learned that self-care is about understanding myself, connecting with my feelings (sensations and emotions) and gaining insight into my needs from moment to moment. To facilitate self-awareness of my changing self-care needs, I found it useful to avoid and embrace certain things. I have no doubt that parts of these may be universal, while parts are deeply personal.

I have learned to avoid:

  • The hustle for worthiness which I manifest through overworking and an addiction to being busy

  • Alcohol, sugar and anything that will numb my feelings

I have learned to embrace:

  • My emotions and all the insights that come with them

  • Gently challenging my unhelpful beliefs and reframing these to cultivate curiosity

  • Surrendering to the technicolour life that is unfolding because of these changes

I am still learning to:

  • Speak kindly to myself, remembering that learning new things takes patience and practice

  • Let go of perfectionism and embrace the growth that comes from living through struggles and making mistakes

The role of community

This last year has been both immensely challenging and rewarding. I would not have been able to do it without the support and community that I have access to. The wisdom and inspiration of those who have created change in their lives, by shifting their most ingrained behaviours and beliefs, have been my guiding light. I am grateful for the courage of those who came before me and who walk beside me, who are touch points that keep me orientated on this journey of change. I have met some amazing people, who have found the power within and the power of community to conquer unimaginable things.

I have no doubt that there is so much more to learn about self-care that I am not even aware of yet. And I know one thing for sure; I will never underestimate what it takes to practice self-care and change behaviour.

Imagine all the people who are experiencing pain, who are feeling isolated, whose lives have been turned upside down, who are feeling hopeless and unsupported. Imagine if they all had a community, like I did, to help make sense of their experiences and grow through it. Imagine if they had support on the hard days and a new purpose to share what they have learned. I imagine this community – this is Our Recovery.

 

Angie Clerc-Hawke is Our Recovery Founder. She has a pain lived experience, coupled with experience/training in medical science, population health and education. When we talk about pain, we are referring to all sorts of pain; chronic pain, persistent pain, ongoing pain, episodic pain, recurring pain… any pain that impacts your life.

 
Angie Clerc-Hawke